I am making one of the most difficult decisions of my life but I think it is time to walk away from caring.
I looked after my friend for over 10 years, he died leaving me heartbroken, I never got a chance to say goodbye.
I have no friends now. carees yes but not friends.
I have spent months/years arguing with all these faceless people and they are faceless, you never meet them, but they are controlling your life.
I am continually told to contact social services, but its not about the care, its medical treatment my carees need.
Living on basic painkillers like paracetamal for chronic pain.
Barely able to get out of bed, fed up depressed, multiple health conditions.
They want and need a team of people to help them back into some kind of normal.
And this is advertised in all these strategys and we will do this, that and the other.
I am told contact the GP who will do this that and the other, refer here and there.
NOPE and again its a GP you have never met before making decisions that deeply affect you and your carees life.
It should be according to the CQC, a small team that knows you well, I don’t know any of the gp’s at all , and they don’t know me.
My caree’s should contact their co-ordinator, what care co-ordinator, what care, they are not getting any care for someone to co ordinate.
I don’t know if its fundholding, it costs money to refer, does it?, I don’t know, no one explains, they just refuse.
Doctor knows best dearie in a patronising way.
If I could just achieve something, but the system is just stacked against me, you just need a stroke of luck, the right doctor, the right social worker to just give the right help.
Its years since I did anything for me, always thinking about others, opposite of selfish.
When’s the last time I went to the cinema or had some me time, 20 years ago?
When’s the last time, someone helped me? I can’t even think?
I am a clapped out carer, worn out, exhausted need to recharge my batterys.
Start up my hobby’s I used to persue, have a bit of fun, enjoy life and I think that’s what all us carers need.
So I am taking a big step back, it’s not the caring that’s the issue here.
Its the fighting and emails and phone calls that do my head in.
So good luck everyone for the future.