New to being a carer

Hi am new to this forum. I have been caring for my brother since March when he was diagnosed with Myeloma and kidney failure. As he is unable to look after himself, he is now living with me.
I work as a nurse in a dementia unit so am used to caring, but am finding this incredibly difficult
I raised my two children on my own and helped with my granddaughter. I have lived on my own for 8 years so am used to having my own space and time.
Some mornings I go to work crying as I feel so bad. I’m struggling to understand why I feel this way. Then I feel guilty.
My brother could probably manage at home with some support from myself and other agencies but he doesn’t want to go!
I’m not used to sharing my feelings as I’ve always managed by myself, so this is a bit strange.
I don’t want to burden other people with these thoughts so thought I’d try this hoping someone recognises what I’m saying. Thanks

Hi Susan … welcome to an extremely quiet forum as I type.

Others will be along to extend their welcomes.

For my bit … a kinship carer ?

A thread which may prove useful when it comes to kinship caring :

Myeloma ?

A link to the Myeloma UK site which will be of some considerable assistance :

What is myeloma? - Myeloma UK

Sections therein detailing support groups and advice for carers.

Hi Susan,
welcome to the forum.

Nursing is tough, but you do get time off. At the end of a long shift, you handover your patients to someone else.
However, not having any “me” time is often a problem for carers. What with your demanding job, caring and sharing your home with your brother - your lack of “me” time is affecting your well being. I think you will have to talk to your brother and explain the situation to him. Perhaps as a compromise he could move back to his own home, with support from paid carers and come and stay with you one night a week or a weekend a month or whatever would work for you. You shouldn’t feel guilty about this. Some wise carers talk on here, advise others to replace the word with guilty with sad. It’s sad what is happening to your brother etc


Thankyou. I will check out links and will try to speak honestly with my brother.

Your welcome.