I felt so bad writing that title because i’m sure his Mum cannot help her illnesses but, my boyfriend needs help.
My boyfriend is 21, works 48 hours a week, lives at home with his Mum and 15 year old brother. As far as I am aware, his mum has a few mobility issues, agoraphobia, depression, PTSD, Bipolar disorder and more. She’s been off work for 9 years now, so in the house it’s their dog, her and her youngest son as he doesn’t go to school(which I don’t agree with).
She is able to clean herself (once a week), she does the washing, cleaning and sometimes cooks but my boyfriend manages her finances, does the shopping, walks her dog, takes her dog to the vets because he’s a senior doggo, is always made to do stuff around the house and more.
Whilst that might not sound like a lot, it is a lot when you work 48 hours a week.
Her youngest son, only hoovers around the house sometimes and that’s it, other than that he keeps her company or plays on his games console. Her oldest son who is 30, became a dad at 16 and is now raising his own family elsewhere so he doesn’t help at all he just takes the mums money.
Therefore all this work load and emotional stress is being put solely on my boyfriend. He told me that a few years ago he attempted suicide twice and he suffers bad from depression(which I can tell), I try to cheer him up and I do but when most of his stress is due to his caring abilities, there’s little i can do.
I’ve told him to stand up for himself a little, for example, after a very long shift he will often be told to get stuff on his way home that her youngest son could EASILY get as they live next to a shop. They just think “oh(my boyfriend) will do it”.
It’s as if they don’t care or bother to relieve my boyfriend from doing everything.
In my opinion, this can’t continue, she also sometimes uses him as her punching bag in the sense of, if she’s feeling low, she’ll take it out on him because he won’t stand up for himself, he was bullied in school so it’s hard for him.
When we’re out on dates (rarely) she’ll complain and ask to come home quickly and not be too long.
I think she needs therapy, she takes medication but she needs psychological therapy. What do we/ I do ?
Yikes this was such a long post.