Mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 5 years ago. We have been able to keep her in her own home with carers, 1 hour a day and me (an only child) with my lovely husband. I look after every aspect of her life.
Mum thinks she does everything
I knock my socks off to keep her safe but she always makes fun of me. It really hurts
Pity party over!
Hi Jenny and welcome.
My Mum is the same. My sister will spend a morning visiting and doing chores and at the end my Mum will declare how busy she has been (meaning herself) and how she is tired now.
I don’t think she makes fun of my sister but she can be very harsh.
Hi Jenny, welcome to the forum.
I ask everyone who comes here as the result of caring for someone with dementia if their caree is receiving Attendance Allowance and exemption from Council Tax on the grounds of “severe mental impairment”?
Do you have Power of Attorney?
Maybe it’s time mum had more carers coming in, as her dementia gets worse?
Are you an only child?
Does mum have over £23,000 in savings, the cut off point for Social Services financial help?
Does she own or rent her house?
It’s not just mum who is getting older, but you too. My biggest annoyance at getting older is my loss of energy!
Hi Jenny and welcome,
My mum’s the same too! She only notices what I DON’T do!!
It certainly is frustrating.
I sometimes write down the jobs I’ve done but I’ve got to the point now where it doesn’t matter anymore.
I’ve also noticed a change in my mum’s communication. Every conversation is about herself - how she feels, what she wants, what she’s doing, who has phoned her etc. My sister has also noticed a change in her.
If I say anything about me, for instance where I’ve been or what I’ve been doing (not that there’s anywhere to go!) then it falls on deaf ears!
It’s a common trait of the very elderly, nothing personal.
My mum did it too.
I had counselling in the end, the counsellor taught me to take control of the never ending jobs list. The faster I tried to get it done, the faster they came at me. I was newly widowed, newly disabled, with a brain damaged so, yet still she “saved” jobs for me!?!?
I was helped to give up trying to get everything done, to choose ONE job I was asked to do, and I did it at my pace. When, inevitably, I was given another job before I’d finished, I’d say “You asked me to do this, so let’s get it finished before we start anything else”.
By taking control, it was so much easier!