@Knitfi hiya Popping over to wish you a Happy Easter, I hope that you are ok and having a nice day. What’s the weather like there is it ok. Been terrible here very windy last night, this morning very overcast and raining ,but now it’s getting abit bright. How’s the blanket coming along.can I ask you if I may who is Elaine, Steph is your SIL I got muddled and answered Elaine as your SIL to. What are you up today , just chilling. Take care .thinking of you x
Was a bit grey this morning. Now nice sunshine got patio door open but the wind. Yesterday with it open I just chased out leaves coming in.
So family. Hubby - Steve
Son oldest Chris wife Emma children Amélie and Ollie
Next son Stuart wife Stephanie children Lola and Oscar
Elaine is my best friend don’t see too often as she is still working. She is Stef’s mum been widowed since she was 51. We had just got to know Stef when her dad died. He dropped dead at a local village cricket match. She couldn’t get her mum so phoned us. Steve was watching Stuart play football called him off the pitch and they dashed to the next village. Steve wouldn’t let Steve near the ambulance he could tell straight away he was gone. They drove to Luton A&E and it wasn’t long till Elaine got there. And was there when they were told. From then we were very involved in supporting Elaine. She is like a family member. My son has been very lucky still has friends from playgroup and school Amy brought back my dog Poppy who had been with Steve. All his friends are now Stefs. All have children now and it’s a great group.
Elaine is a year younger than me. I lost 2 friends over 2 years. Another Elaine whose anniversary is 4 years today and Maggie who died 1/4/2024. Both would have been doing stuff with me in our retirements.
Thinking of you too. Bit of housework but if reading bit of knitting
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@Knitfi oh what sad stories. Losing her husband at 51 that’s no age. I’m glad she had her daughter and all you to . And losing two of your friends to.And both in April so April not a good month.it was no age for any of them and yes you would have all been doing retirement things together. Life can be hard to deal with at times.next week the 8th would have been my mums birthday. I try and not think about it ,but not an easy things to do. glad you have sunshine.it keeps trying here sky went blue sun was trying to shine, but now cloudy again. Keeps doing this.i think it will rain again, and it looks windy and it’s cold in the house I have to keep putting heating on.tomorrow is supposed to be sunny day . I’m glad you are doing some knitting and reading. U take care
Hubby is 70 on the 9th. Oscar 7 on 17th Lola 9 on the 26th. A busy month as well as sad
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@Knitfi so it’s mixed with sad times and happy times. That’s a difficult month then.
So latest today after Indigestion Gate. I was going to contact council Adult Services to see if SW assigned. Well she phoned me this morning. Lovely lady called Sarah. Seeing mum on Monday next week. Just initial get to know her. I asked if she was aware on my situation with her. She sort of said no but clearly someone had been mentioned. I gave her some pointers as in mum asking to go home is not taking on board it’s the home she used to be in years ago. Would need careful questioning on what she would be able to do. Informed was under nourished when went to hospital and dehydrated. As she doesn’t eat when crews there says not a good time will have later. Explained that if she got certain looks from mum it meant she wasn’t willing to take in what she was saying or that she knew something was true but didn’t want to acknowledge. Sarah will call Tuesday to let me how it went
The doctor from the elderly mental health team also called to say he was going to visit mum in the care home this afternoon. Would I be there. No. He said find was there anything I wanted to say. Said reduction of diazepam was going well. Didn’t know if a bit of dementia as could come out with strange things. Her anxiety was worse as was her anger. How horrid she was with family. Was this her personality worse or dementia. That going home to her is to a home no longer there but one before when she was younger. He was pleased to have background too. I hope as she is not aware he is going he will get a “true” mum. I told both of them very good at looking good for the main outside world to think a lovely old lady. Will see what happens. I’m tired out just with that today 
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I know that feeling so well. I have similar issues with the people caring for my son. They don’t understand that he will say yes or no depending on what he thinks they want him to say. He talks to me on the phone every evening, whatever he wants to talk about. (The hedgehogs are back in his garden must be out of hibernation, now with 3 baby hedgehogs). When he tells me he wants to go on a bike ride, that’s what HE wants, but if I pass it on it’s “What Mrs.M wants” and therefore ignored! I’m now hyper sensitive to all this now. My only concern is that he has a happy and healthy life, unlikely now he is 6 sone overweight.
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@Knitfi well knitfi, at least you got your chance to say what you want, and they seemed to be listening to you, let’s hope so. I’m not Suprised your tired out it is very draining go and get that kettle on.i hope you have been out in the garden today. We’ve had sun lovely sun 2 days in a row. After all that rain and cloud. I hope it’s like this all week. I hope you have had a nice day apart from the phone calls, at least that would have been abit off relief for you. Have a lovely evening. U take care.
@knitfi well that all sounds really positive and good lines of communication before they see your Mum, though understandably exhausting for you. How I wish Social Care had got in touch with me before they interviewed my mum, we wouldn’t be in the mess we’re in now, having to get the Ombudsman in and everything.
I have never heard of an Elderly Mental Health team… what a revelation! Wish I could get someone like that in Nottinghamshire to see my mum! I am looking into getting a private psychiatric assessment done…… let us know how it all goes and try to get some rest. 
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@JayneyT they are part of the geriatric team and at one time called the geriatric mental health team. When mum got the letter about the first visit I got a copy. Nearly had a fit as it said Adult Memory Clinic on it. However looking at it properly it did say and Adult Mental Health. Suppose it makes sense. But when you are expecting a psychiatrist’s team it through me off. I have a feeling this time it is a more experienced doctor going to see her. Not sure why I’m thinking that but talking to him I just had that sense. Wonder how she was as she would have been caught off guard.
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Evening. Well another visitor to mum today and another command for things to be taken to her. She again asked for outdoor shoes. She got them last Wednesday and the extra indigestion tablets. So why has she not seen well the shoes at least as they are a lot bigger than a box of tablets. Are carers putting the full bags in her wardrobe and she isn’t looking to see what is there. Are they there but she is forgetting they are. I mean it she doesn’t remember her shoes are there how the heck can she be ok at home. Saying this as my sons still slightly thinking it’s doable. Would love to have been a fly on the wall with the MH doctor yesterday. If I’d been there it would have impacted her words and demeanour
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@Knitfi has she actually seen the shoes , knows there there and this is to get your attention from another visitor that is not you . Just a thought.she does not need the shoes does she. When did you last see her. Didn’t you tell the care home not to ring unless important and emergency. She cannot just ring you. There’s no emergency .so telling her visitor to say about shoes is that to get your attention so you will ring the care home and speak to her. I don’t know but from what you have said.
Yes it’s all attention grabbing. Well as she had asked for her shoes and I left them the next day with the clothes she wanted and her knitting you would think she would look at what was there. However knowing mum and a lot of it is for attention I can see her getting out say her knitting bag and not really looking at what else was there. She wants them for the garden. She was out for half an hour in the garden with my cousin today. She also wanted her mobile and told Dorothy to say she wouldn’t call me on it. Well you won’t mum as the mobile is out of contract and you haven’t used it for about 18 months. Won’t answer if it rings “ I might do something to muck it up” or answer texts she can’t get the right letters. And she has no idea how to ring out with it. However she could bother the staff to do things with it. The list I got last week from Michele she had given to the carers to tell me. They didn’t so following my instructions
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Yes it will be attention seeking to get you running around for her…control, control, control. That’s why I literally took everything of Mum’s I had in my own house last week, including her toaster! Now she can’t phone and ask me for anything else and if she does I can just say it’s gone to the charity shop. 
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@Knitfi Well if she ask for the mobile again just say it’s out of contract don’t give her a phone , even though you say you won’t not answer it. It could drive you mad it keep ringing it. I wish she would give you a break , a-bit of peace.At least the carers are following your instructions. When will you hear about the meeting she had yesterday .do you get to hear about what was said. I hope that you are not to stressed .
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Mornings Troupers
Oh she won’t get the phone as Stuart has cancelled contract. Wasted money each month. Cousin Anne and I had a lovely morning yesterday with tea and the biggest sultana scone I’ve seen in a long time. Got 2 lovely fake posies for little jugs I have.
I will look for her trousers Saturday as it’s Hubby’s birthday today. Grandchildren tomorrow. Think will also take lighter wait tops for her as that will be the next thing. Had a thought about the shoe comment I’m thinking in her world if she is saying doesn’t know she had it will it make me take them to her room and sort them out ? Understanding her head space is getting clearer.
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@Knitfi glad you had nice time with cousin,So she is wanting trousers now. Yes take light weight tops to give staff to. What else .think about what she used to where at home when weather was nice, aswell as trousers and tops then you can put them all in a bag and take them or it’s going to be one thing after another. Well if she is saying she doesn’t know she had it . It could be she has seen them but pretend she hasn’t so like you say it’s a way of you getting you there to show her where they are. Or she may not have seen them but a member of staff just needs to say to her have a look. But I would think it was the first cos any bag that is taken I can see her looking in it to see what you have took .you will probably get your answer if she keeps asking for things that you have taken and she keeps saying she cannot find them .i hope your hubby has a nice birthday and that you have a nice day. U take care.
Just been over to drop stuff off. Took them in the good strong vinyl boxes I got. Took more of her lighter weight socks. 2 lighter nightdresses 3 pairs of her bigger size 14 trousers which are lightweight. Found her short sleeved little tops she likes under her jumpers so took them. She also had tops with jumpers over then as sets so they went in too. All these I had on hangers ready to go in wardrobe. Make it easier for staff. Took her handbag she likes to use in the summer. 2 other photo albums of the boys. Zip up hooded top. The biscuits she likes and the little plastic sealed boxes she has some in for sitting in her knitting bag ( no idea why she dies that )
There was also 2 bars of dark chocolate and her mini Toffee Crispies she likes. Think I’ve covered a lot of what she may be wanting. Took her summer T-shirts out the stored boxes she keeps them in and hung up hopefully to let out the creases. I left a note for her in the box about where her shoes where they are and why she hadn’t got a mobile now. However I know there will always be something she will NEED. No doubt it will be she wants stuff brought home. Her neighbour can do that next time she is there as has a house key.
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@Knitfi , it was like that with when my mum was in the care home. I was always bringing stuff to keep her comfortable. Sometimes it’s best to do that to keep things cool.
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She is normally very cold whe we had the scorching days of summer her air conditioning was at 23 ! I’d if had one would be on 16. However she did find it very hot in the other home so thought as I’m taking trousers will take her tops. Mind you they are still what I would not call summer clothes !
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