Hi ,
I am getting increasingly concerned about the risks involved in my mother smoking
She is 94 years and has smoked since a teenager.
She lives alone.
I am seeing more small " ash burn " holes in her clothes .
I have addressed the potential risks I.e. no papers near her chair - smoke alarms working - but I feel she is increasingly more at risk. Her mobility is very poor.
Anyone else experienced this concern ?
Hello Anne
What a worry that is for you.
Have you tried her with vaping? or the quit kits?
Could be a tall order as she has been smoking for so long and might not be met with glee at the prospect.
To put it bluntly fire alarms won’t help her mobility to get out if there’s a fire, would they save her life?
I’m guessing that she gets sleepy at her age and nodding off, furthering the risk.
I was starting to see some burn holes in my mothers clothes, bedding some years ago but fortunately that risk was averted for us due to my mother having a TIA stroke and being unable to go and buy any. The hospital kitted her up with gum and patches kit and we refused to buy her any cigarettes so she had to go cold turkey with the nicotine kits. I was delighted because I have hated it all my life but never been able to get her to stop not even as a toddler on her knee telling her it was nasty and smelly nor as an adolescent begging her to stop because I didn’t want it to kill her.
Thank you for your response Breezy.
Yes have tried vapes and patches - she feels they have no effect whatsoever.
Have tried limiting the amount we buy for her but that just ends with frequent phone calls to stock her up.
Am at a complete loss !
Hi Anne, and welcome.
What would happen if everyone refused to buy them for her? (I know that, strictly speaking, she has a right to make dodgy choices, but you also have the right to limit what you do for her, you don’t need to justify it).
There’s a really solution to the endless phone calls. Turn your answerphone on!
I had to do this when my mum kept ringing me during the day for a chat because she was lonely, when I was trying to write a magazine all about vintage lorries, on which my income depended.
If the house was quiet and I didn’t have any interruptions I could write good articles and type quickly and accurately. I loved being really creative, thinking of unusual headings, subjects, titles, photographs etc. Mum didn’t like me doing this (she was lucky, with a very large civil service pension and all the disability benefits I’d organised for her) and seemed to think it was OK to give me a break by ringing to chat. NO, it wasn’t!!! I needed the money, at 54 newly widowed and newly disabled with a son with learning difficulties as well.
After the call, my concentration and creativity had gone.
My life and my need for an income came above her desire to chat.
Cigarettes are either vital, nor urgent. You are a daughter, not a slave. Your own needs are your priority.