Living in the wrong area

I am aware I sound like a broken record and I promise I do not mean too. I am a little over whelmed with all that is going on. I had to block a carer…i HATE doing this and it wasn’t something I chose to do lightly. The carer in question was taking too many safety risks…not allowing nan time to stand and be safe her feet, not applying cream to legs, unable to complete a shower because she felt faint at the site of a small (smaller than a 20p piece) bruise from a blood test, not making sure nan is safe and can reach her walking frame (she cannot stand or walk unaided) and amongst other things the shouting was the final straw. I am deaf…moderate hearing loss so cannot hear from one room to the next let alone hear someone upstairs when I am down with doors closed but heard every word that she wouldn’t allow a shower to take 45mins as it doesn’t take that long. Since then we are “managing” better in lots of ways but there is no cover for carers, and its just got worse…the care agency have said the carers refuse to come more than once a week its too far. We are 4.3 miles and 11 mins from the town where they are based. I cancel in bad weather, i cancel for sickness, i cancel for hospital visits, i cancel bank holidays as I know they are short on staff…i am basically nice or should that be I like to think I am nice when I am horrible really?

Unless I back down and allow the carer who is a safety risk in we will go from 5 days of a carer to shower nan to 2 at most.

Speaking to the occupational therapist today there is the possibility of using the PA system to employ someone locally. Whilst I can see the positives of this…am I right in thinking we are likely to see the same issue…too far from town?

I am feeling forced into making nan move home which given she has very little vision and has lived in her current home for over 50 years and knows the layout would be distressing as well as increase the likelihood of injury and falls.

I don’t really know what I am asking beyond can she be forced to move because if she does not she cannot have someone into shower her?

Is the PA system as good as it sounds?

I suppose my biggest fear is will we have the same issues of being too far from town?

Right now it feels as though whatever I do I am failing…my best is not reasonable let alone good enough.

The health and social care assessor is on leave until 7th october so there is very little I can do until then anyway.

Sorry I know I am moaning without any real cause…sorry


Thank you HoneyBadger, I really appreciate your reply.

HA the care agency are I would say hilarious but it’s beyond that. When I first raised concerns about this carer I was told she is doing exceptionally well and flying. I can only assume we have VERY different definitions of doing well because to me it was anything but.

I have to confess I know I nothing about reporting to safeguarding, where would I start?

I am going to ask them to fill the missed days with another agency if this one can’t do it, at least whilst we look into the PA system. We know so little about the PA system other than the paperwork side, I can deal with that it’s just the but it’s 4miles from town part that will cause a problem.

I feel better knowing that the 4 miles doesn’t seem a problem with you, I travel it daily in rush hour etc and yes it takes a little longer than 11 minutes but you can also take the back roads which still only takes 10mins unless it’s very bad weather and flooded. The care agency are excellent at guilt tripping me and when I put up a fight they just say they aren’t coming and that’s the end of it.

TO be fair it annoys me until I get worn down like last night and think this is ridiculous I must be doing something wrong. Thank you for making me smile with the don’t apologise. I always feel as though I am making a fuss over nothing and being unreasonable, especially as others have it far worse.


A lot of the carers I have seen actually come from another town to ours, which is 15 miles away and that’s no problem. I travel regularly to the supermarket, that’s 4 miles away, only about 10 mins in the car.
Other care agencies in my town cover the little villages, that’s 6 miles away, no probs.
Your nan is legally entitled to care and this care agency is legally obliged to prove the care, no ifs no buts.
If they were not happy about the distance they should have not taken the contract.

Social services always have duty officers, they cannot just say oh we will deal with it next month.

I feel you are being treated very unfairly at the moment.

Mum and I are lucky enough to live in a nice little town, our carers office is literally 2 minutes away.

But I know our carers go out to all the little villages and 20 minutes drive time between clients is normal. It’s funny because the management never co-ordinate the calls properly to allow travel time. So the carers now swap calls between themselves to make it work.

In my experience, it is always the management side that lets care agencies down.

Is your Nan self funding or paid by the Council?

I’ve taken and will continue to take photos of the folder but I don’t see the actual one they fill in, this one just says as per pass system. The pass system is on a mobile phone. {another bug bear they keep playing with that not paying attention to what they should be doing} We have to pay an annual fee if we want to see it, same goes if say a GP or district nurse wanted to see it to know how an injury or something was progressing. We do have schedules and I will keep those as they too show they are not planning to come.

Nan first had care about 20 years ago and for most of them we have had some carers who will not drive outside of town. We used to part pay and have since had another financial assessment and no longer pay. It was put in place by social services and when the original agency closed we were not given a choice and just moved to this company. Their office is about 22 miles away and not “open to the public”. I do feel this is highly unfair and it’s a recurring issue we have this a lot and I seem to be constantly fighting it.

I have also noticed that I’ve requested email or text as I can’t hear and every time there’s an issue they phone which I am starting to think is on purpose because I then cannot hear everything that is said. I feel like a tantrumming toddler if I push too much though so tend to let it slide.

I will try social services again I didn’t realise I could push so it would be done sooner. To be fair it’s the same lady who came last time and her answer was…it’s the best agency around so no point changing them.

Thank you so much, I had totally felt like we were in the wrong and now know we aren’t and feel a lot stronger in dealing with it, well for the moment anyway.

Definitely call social services again. Insist on being taken seriously. You are not at fault here. They are. Can you switch to a different local care company or not? Why is their office so far away? Start keeping a daily diary or log of communication. Do ask for another social worker too. She is definitely biased but not smart. A good social worker will remain impartial. Good luck! Call tomorrow to complain.

Called this morning, now just waiting around for some one to get back to me. I am just keeping fingers crossed and hoping it goes okay. In the mean time I have doubled checked emails and have two different dates as to when the social worker is back, she herself says 7th October but the duty worker says the 23rd. I wonder if either of them actually know?