Hello i look after my mum ,i have done for the last 25 years,its not easy but shes looked after me growing up so it only seems fair. Anyway i wanted to say hello and look forward to talking to you .
Hi Andrew and welcome,
I have given you your own thread.
What sort of care does she need?
Welcome to the forum. Do you live with mum?
24 hours a day , she suffers from artharitis and vertigo and she falls alot, those are the main things.
Yes she cant be left alone.
Hi Andrew,
Does your wife belong to any forums. I can recommend https://community.versusarthritis.org as being friendly and supportive.
Has the Epley Manoeuvre worked for your wife? A worked with a colleague who had very disabling vertigo, but once she learnt to do this herself, it meant she self treat when she had a flare.
If she can’t be left alone, do you have a carer/sitter/befriender for her, so that you can get out on your own on a regular basis?
Its not my wife ,its my mum. She has damaged discs in her neck ,she cant have her neck twisted.
No its just me, unless my sister is not working then she can help.
Having read your other post, I understand so much more about your depression, you can’t keep giving up everything in life for mum. What would happen if you were suddenly taken ill? There needs to be someone else introduced to your household so that you can escape and relax and do what you want to do sometimes. My mum denied for years that she needed help other than me, but finally, when I had major cancer surgery, she realised that she had two choices, carers, or residential care. So she chose carers and once they’d got to know each other, she enjoyed hearing about their lives, talking to another female, etc. etc. Is mum claiming Attendance Allowance?
Hello. I recommend making a will pronto. You can hire a good lawyer in order to draw one up. Use the Internet to find one who works in the local area. Make brief summary notes and then schedule a introductory meeting face to face. Take a look at the details on the website. Or you can even do selection interviews with a handful of recommended lawyers at their company offices. Best of luck.
Hi Andrew,
excuse my mistake.
Hello Andrew
Welcome from Carers UK and to the forum. We’re really pleased you’ve found us.
I just want to highlight a few of the other opportunities we provide for you to meet and share with other carers and ways to access support.
Every week we run a Care for a Cuppa video chat for carers where you can take a little break and spend some time talking informally to other carers who understand what you’re going through. People say they’ve found it really helpful and supportive and it’s nice to be able to take a little bit of time for yourself. There’s no pressure to share any more than you’re comfortable with. Join up details are here:
https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/your-health-and-wellbeing/online-meetups/care-for-a-cuppa/
We also run weekly Share and Learn sessions which are fun and relaxed online sessions where visiting speakers share tips and skills on a range of topics.- please have a look at the link and see if one grabs your attention.
https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/your-health-and-wellbeing/online-meetups/share-and-learn/
There is also Carers UK’s helpline should you need advice or support - Our Telephone Helpline is available on 0808 808 7777 from Monday to Friday, 9am – 6pm or you can contact us by email advice@carersuk.org
Please do come and join us at one of our online meetups, we would love to see you there.
With kind regards
Ingrid
You can perhaps see if you could find a live in carer. You can post a advert in a magazine like the Lady.
Theres not much life left now, its only the medication thats keeping me going.
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Hi Andrew,
It sounds like caring for your Mum has taken it’s toll. Regular breaks might really help.
Does your Mum receive any care from outside carers? Have you had a Carer’s assessment?
No, there is just me , my sister helps to but she has a job so cant be here all the time. Mum has had a assessment,i think there are to many ss in assessment, anyway thank you for careing.
Hi Andrew,
A Needs Assessment like your Mum had can lead to her having support from outside carers which would take some of the pressure of you. You and your sister don’t have to be the ones doing all of the care.
You can have request a Carers Assessment too and this could lead to a siting service to look after your Mum whilst you had some time to take a break.
There is information here:
Scroll down to where it says Practical Support
or you could contact the helpline for advice:
You can call 0808 808 7777 from Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm, including bank holidays. Or use our email advice service (advice@carersuk.org)
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Thank you for the information i will look in to it.
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Hello ,i havent had the chance to post for a long time . Neither me or my mum have been very well, and turning 60 hasnt helped but hopefully i will be able to look in now from time to time.
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