Hi, new guy

Hi all

I’m new here. I care for two people in my family. My son is 14 and has severe learning difficulties. He is non-verbal and working at a pre-curriculum level at school. More recently, my wife was diagnosed with MS and her first few relapses were extremely bad. She is in a wheelchair now with partial paralysis of her lower body and hands.

When I have the time I also enjoy photography, cooking and reading.


HI Anthony,

Welcome to the forum.

Sounds like you have a heavy caring load. Must be tough on all of you adapting to your wife’s recent diagnosis.

Are you receiving any outside support?

I hope you find the forum a good source of practical and emotional support.

What do you like to photograph?


It certainly made the pandemic an interesting time. We used to dread the summer holidays as it meant 6 weeks of 24/7 care. Our marriage was always heavily tested by the end. However, with Covid it was just me and I had 12 weeks helping both of them. But, we made it and things are getting easier as we sort out everything (back tom school, new house, lift, hospital like bed etc. etc.).

As for outside support, we were just sorting out respite before covid but when it became clear we were approaching a pandemic, and with no clue what covid would do with MS, we decided to not have strangers in our home. It’s something I should probably restart. I do, occasionally, privately hire one of the TAs from my son’s school to help out if we have an appointment for my wife.

I’m not sure I have a favoured subject. I like the technical challenge of taking a beautiful photo with a manual camera, so shoot all sorts.

Wow Anthony you have gone through a lot the last couple of years and the MS must be devastating for you both.

A heads up on your son, look into and keep in mind when your son becomes an adult in the eyes of the care system, you might already know from other contacts you might have. Be on the ball with the Gvt and local authority policies and start asking about it and making noises a year in advance and step up the pressure 8 months, 6 months… Someone I knew had a terminally ill child who went into adulthood with their condition and the transition for care from child to adult was not seamless at their local authority, it was a nightmare. There was also the shock that so many things were removed yet his condition wasn’t suddenly better - it was getting worse.

Further than that it is beyond my knowledge and experience but there will be issues regarding his money and handling it, decision making etc.

Manual cameras are a great challenge.
Have you been doing photography for long?

Welcome Anthony. You do have a lot to deal with right now and I am so glad you hobbies even if time is limited.

I am an avid reader too as I care for my 83 year old husband. What sort of books do you enjoy reading? I also Chair 2 Book Clubs so am always looking for new authors and books that would work for the group - one of which has male and female members.

Thank you for the advice. Fortunately, my son’s school is fabulous. Though I may be biased as I sit on it’s Governing Board. We have a parent liaison who bridges the gap in the last few years of the school between them and adult social services. They were also instrumental in making dealing with the DLA claim and housing significantly easier.

I suppose I have always had an interest, as a kid I always carried a little point and shoot with me. I decided to take the plunge and get a DSLR and it properly about 6 or 7 years ago.

That’s awesome. I like old detective stories, like Elvis Cole or Bosch. I also like sci-fi book series. I really enjoyed one called the Breakers series by Edward W Robertson. It was set nowish and about an end of the world scenario. The series ran for about 8 or 9 books. But what was great about it was there was a sequel series of another half dozen books called Rebal Stars (I think) that picked up where the story left off, but 1,000 years later. Which was a really unique idea I enjoyed.

I have to say I struggle with Sci Fi books. However our Book Club read a book called ‘Five Minds’ by Guy Morpuss which you may like. Basically set in the future, where space is limited, so 5 people share one body and have ‘control’ for 4 hours each! Fascinating concept and the group enjoyed it. Lots of twists

Another author you might like is John Marrs. Although I do not like Sci Fi generally his books, especially the two listed below are almost believable, and I did enjoy them. ‘The One’ is about a gene based dating site which can find you the ONE perfect partner - even if you are married. Loads of twists and turns. ‘The Passengers’ is ‘trial by social media’ and features 'driverless cars! Both worth a go.

Darren one of our members is a keen fan of Sci Fi hence whilst the group reads one or two a year! Trying to find books that male and females will enjoy is at times ‘a challenge’ but if I ever suggested any Chick Lit I would be well and truly lynched.

Wow your son is in a good school, glad to hear you are on top of that and it should all go smoothly.

I have taken the plunge and got a mirrorless camera, it is amazing but I don’t get much chance to get out with it.

Thank you for the suggestions, I will definitely check them out when I finish my current book.

You might also like Melly’s thread with book recommendations.


Yes worth checking the book thread out as we have put some of the books up we have read and enjoyed.