Hi I’m Wendy I’m new to this

My name is Wendy, my husband Ian has CLL,chronic lymphatic leukaemia he has had it for 14 years is on medication, Ibrutinib. He also suffers from skin cancer and has just undergone treatment on his head for it. I also have a 92 year old mum whose in a nursing home about 50 miles away who I try to see weekly. Sometimes I feel I can’t take anymore. I have an amazing family and lovely friends but I can’t always tell or talk to them about how I’m feeling ,I feel very alone at times

Wendy you are not alone here. Please feel free to share what every you like. We try to be honest and none judgemental.
You may not need advice but if you do - ask away! You may just was to rant - rant away.
If you need information on all you are entitled too. Ask us questions.
There are many carers on here who care for several people. Who can sympathise and clearly understand what you are experiencing.

Hi Wendy,

welcome to the forum. This IS a place where you can say how you are feeling and no one will judge. Feel free to post away. Have a read, post some replies if you feel like it and before you know it, you have made some cyber friends!


Hi Wendy
I too have a Mum (96) in a nursing home, but 200 miles away. I have just tonight booked yet another hotel for an overnight stay so I don’t have to drive there and back in a day all for an hour or 2 with her where im not sure if she recognises me or not. I feel guilty that i moan about the cost and the journey. I feel cross that i feel i have to visit. I feel bad that I feel bad. :angry:

Sometimes I wish it would end soon, then I feel guilty again!!!

It’s not easy this caring lark, is it? But I am so glad I found this forum and can say here what I can’t say out loud to anyone else

Hello and welcome to the forum.

It is really tough having a number of caring responsibilities. So vent away. I have an elderly mother with dementia and a young family. I often feel caught in the middle. And struggle to balance everyone’s needs. I often feel like I am dropping many of the balls I have in the air. I find the art is to try really hard to take some time for yourself if you can. YOU are important too. Also just not to beat yourself up over what you can’t do. Try to feel proud of what you do and not bad about what you can’t. If visit to Mum has to slip some weeks so you can get a break, then that really isn’t something to feel too bad about.

Best of luck, it isn’t easy!

Hello Wendy. Thanks to all the lovely people on here, you’re certainly not alone. Like most non-professional carers, I was drawn into the world of care by accident (being a carer for elderly parents certainly wasn’t part of my life plan), and the truth is no one prepares you for the mental and physical challenges it throws at you. It can feel incredibly lonely - which is why I took the decision to find a support forum (and I’m very pleased I found Carers UK). The thing is, as much as family and friends love you, unless they’ve been carers themselves then they will NEVER understand the complete despair that you can sometimes feel. I talk to my partner, friends, my older children, friendly work colleagues, etc… no one else really gets it. That’s why meeting other carers - those who care for loved ones whilst trying to live their own life - is so important :slight_smile: