Hello to the group

My name is Sally

I am work full-time and have a 11 year old son. My husband has had mental health issues for 10 years now and also chronic fatigue for the last 3, we have been and still on an emotional roller coaster and as a couple have had our struggles, we are married for 15 years and been together for 17.

Last 8 years were living in Singapore from London and now we are in Basel Switzerland, which I appreciate does sound wonderful and we are very privileged to have the opportunity.

He is really struggling to adjust to having seasons again, the sky is grey and we both find the country very dull, we miss a city life with the buzz and energy that brings, we are very isolated and don’t have what we can call friends here. Moving to a new region and country before Covid isn’t helping the situation and being close to our family in the UK is great but not being able to just see them or them see us has been tough.

I am struggling as a carer for him and for our son sometimes, he can be in bed 5 days in a row and I then need to change my work routine to factor in school drop and pick up’s and sort out dinner…

Sometimes I just wonder if I am making him worse or will the household ever be happy again…his mood does impact how we all are, I am a glass half full kinda person, I do my yoga, mindfulness and runs but sometimes I run out of smiles and now with no friends I am struggling sometimes.

appreciate this community.


Hi Sally & welcome

In the winter months it’s important to find alternative light sources. Make sure the home is well light and look at your light bulbs. Some people work better with clear bulbs. Personally, I dislike clear bulbs they give me a headache.

Have you tried you husband on a light box.

Web search …

Some people with SAD find that light therapy can help improve their mood considerably. This involves sitting by a special lamp called a light box, usually for around 30 minutes to an hour each morning. Light boxes come in a variety of designs, including desk lamps and wall-mounted fixtures

Does you husband suffer from hay fever. If so it’s better to take an non drowsy antihistamine through the winter. I find it help towards keeping me awake. You can also consult your G.P. if you husband take prescription medication.

It’s important to keep the body moving i.e. If not going out for walks to use a treadmill or exercise bike.

Play music …

If not everyone was to hear put head phones on. If you could get your husband to sit in front of a light box and play music. He can so this is privacy. So he is taking control.

I spent 3 years living in the hottest part of Australia, I so miss the sunshine at this time of the year. My cottage has a big conservatory, whenever there is sunshine it’s lovely in there, but it’s grey here in the New Forest this afternoon, not a glimmer of sun. My former dining room has recently become my sewing room (we eat in the kitchen). It has three spotlights in a unit in the ceiling, and two spotlights each in units each side of the main sewing area, and light reflective paint on the walls.

I’m supposed to be meeting my best friend for lunch tomorrow, obviously not going to happen. I think everyone is just so fed up with having our freedom curtailed.

Hi Sally, welcome to our forum

This sounds like a really difficult situation for you, many carers are struggling especially now as we are heading into the darker nights. Have you thought about coming along to one of our Care for a Cuppa sessions? We’re running series of online weekly meet ups for carers to get together and chat informally, we run them every Monday afternoon. People say they’ve found it really helpful and supportive and it’s nice to be able to take a little bit of time for yourself. There’s no pressure to share any more than you’re comfortable with. Join up details are here:

https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advic … ne-meetups

Do join if you’d like to

Best wishes