Hello - Noob here

Hello

I care for my elderly Mum who has type 2 diabetes and stage 4 (bordering stage 5) chronic kidney disease. She lives with me and my family but due to her sharp tongue I’m really the only one in the house that does any care related tasks on a daily basis.

I have a lot more I could say but it all gets a bit overwhelming … so I’ll leave it there for now.

Hi David, welcome to the forum.

Why does mum think it’s OK to have a “sharp tongue” towards those she is living with, who are trying to help her?
How old is she?
Has she always been like this?
Is she disabled in any way?

If it’s your home she has no right to live there, and as she is a guest, she could be asked to leave.

She is 87. She has always had a firey temper - she was always rowing with my Dad ever since I can remember. He passed away a few years ago.

When he was alive he was largely at her beck and call - running here there and everywhere. He was the driver and they were always going out.

She won’t make decisions - but is more than happy to criticise anyone for the consequences of any decisions they have taken that affect her.

I think she’s also suffering lack of social contact due to day centres all closing because of Covid - and still no sign of them opening.

She has difficulty walking far and can’t be too far from a loo for long.

We had a massive row about a month or so ago - which made things worse. The plan was then to move her out but she has since been diagnosed with CKD. We’re currently waiting for follow up appointments with kidney specialist - but I believe she may not have too long left on this Earth. So don’t want to progress this until we know what she needs - might be a care home or hospice. In her mind she wants a bungalow in the country or in Spain - neither of which is possible or practical!

If she starts shouting at you, or moaning about something, just say “I’m not going to listen to this” and walk out of the room. Immediately.