thank you for letting me join i am a grandaughter to a lovely nan and a daughter to a very frustrated mum
my nan is 94yrs old and has just come out of hospital from having a stroke (thankfully not as bad as it could have been)nan was already having a double team in 4 x a day as she could stand but not walk so was using the rotunda
she is know to be hoisted out of bed as this is what the hospital was doing and the carers are to get her up at lunch and put her back to bed at teatime as what have been doing in hospital we are hoping time will increase as she gets stronger but our frustration is with the care providers my nans carers are willing to get her up as they agree with my mum it would be a better quality of life for her but the office/supervisors is saying its up to my nan who unfortunately would agree to stay in bed if put in a certain way making the carers (some not all) jobs a little easier
How do we try and get this over to the care supervisor/office this is not what we would like i understand my nan has right having been a carer and a care home manager so can see it from both sides but all i am seeing is a very upset mother who is getting to the end i wish i could do more but at the moment am waiting for knee and hip replacement so am also feeling frustrated

Hello Mandy

I wanted to welcome you to our forum, you’ve definitely come to the right place to connect with other carers who will be able to help and give you advice on your difficult and frustrating situation.

I’m not sure if you are aware, but alongside the online forum we are also running weekly online zoom meetings where carers come together every Monday afternoon to chat and support each other, if you would like to join us online at one of our meet ups you would be very welcome. It’s a good place to get more advice and support from others who understand what you are going through. I’ve added a link to the sign up for our weekly Care for a cuppa session Online meetups | Carers UK.

Alongside the weekly online chat session we are also running Share and Learn sessions, these are a series of fun and relaxed online sessions where visiting speakers share tips and skills on a range of topics, please have a look at the share and learn link and see if one of the sessions grabs your attention, we would love to see you there. Coming up in January we have a yoga session, an art talk and a dance session, the link will take you to the list of sessions we are running this month. Share and Learn | Carers UK

There is also Carers UK’s helpline should you need advice or support - Our Telephone Helpline is available on 0808 808 7777 from Monday to Friday, 9am – 6pm or you can contact us by email (

Do join if you’d like to, we’ve had a lot of new carers join the sessions recently and it’s a great way to meet other carers.

with best wishes

Hi Mandy, I’m dismayed that they sent nan home like that.
Was there any discussion with you and mum about her high care needs?
Was an NHS Continuing Healthcare Assessment completed?

Is it realistic for nan to remain at home.
Whose home is it?
Owned outright or rented?
The answers to these questions are really important.