Thanks bowlingbun.
Yes, it certainly is a whirlwind of emotions and I do feel that I am in a grieving cycle or maybe more accurately circle, as it just seems to go round and round at the moment.
Today I made a cheese and tomato sandwich for myself and then got upset because that was one of Mum’s favourite lunches. It’s crazy the things that can set you off, isn’t it?
Yes, definitely part of a grieving process. My mum died about 5 years ago after years of I’ll health, but whenever I drive past the end of her road, rather than call in, it feels wrong.
After my original post things improved a little for my mum and though she has never fully settled I was able to visit each day and even had her home for overnight visits.
Then last week the home had positive Covid tests for residents and staff and so obviously changed the visiting policy. We tried a ‘pod’ visit where we sit either side of a window but she became distressed quite quickly. I had to bring to their attention I am her essential care giver and they then allowed me to visit in her room as there is direct outside access. The last couple of days she has been much sleepier and more confused and seems to be declining.
Today I got an email saying they were going back to pod visits. When I tried to clarify what was going on by phone I couldn’t get a reply from the administrator or the manager. The nurses just told me they weren’t there and to try again tomorrow.
I managed to speak to Mum on the phone but she sounded half asleep. I am so distressed. I feel utterly powerless.
From the Government’s “Guidance on Care Home Visiting”:
Every care home resident should be supported to have an identified essential care giver (in addition to their named visitors) who may visit the home to offer companionship or help with care needs – essential care givers should be able to visit inside the care home even during periods of outbreak affecting the care home.
And AgeUK:
What is an essential caregiver?
The guidance outlines that each resident should be able to choose an ‘essential care giver’. This is someone who provides not only companionship but also additional care and support to the person in the care home.
The essential care giver should be able to visit more often, including during periods when the resident has to isolate due to coronavirus or if there’s been an outbreak of coronavirus in the care home.
If you’re an essential care giver, you’ll be required to take frequent coronavirus tests and wear appropriate PPE.
Hi Claire, I hope you were able to visit even when thought you couldn’t. I’ve found that different staff have different ideas about the rules and what should and shouldn’t happen.
Sending you love and strength.