Divorce, Resentment, and Abuse. How to cope?

So I find myself in the unique situation of being implicated of benefit fraud, constant drug use (cannabis) and “24/7” gaming in my mothers divorce statement from her soon to be ex partner. While there are elements of truth to the latter accusations, I will vehemently deny benefit fraud. I have been an on call carer for several years for my mother, supporting her in animal care, prescription and shopping collection, home cleaning, and monitoring her relationship with a verbally, emotionally, medically, financially abusive and negligent man, whom we have evidence of infidelity, and witness testimonies to verify his behaviour and actions.

The more pressing issue I am experiencing is an existential crisis. My ideology, and beliefs have been called into question at the realisation that the man I was deluded enough to call a mentor was in fact a user and abuser. I also have preexisting mental health concerns (Aspergers) that I believe has been influenced by this individual negatively. I am suspicious he has undiagnosed Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

As a result of this crisis, my trust of my mother has begun to disintegrate. Her behaviours are scarily familiar to his own. I believe this as a result of him being equally if not more so abusive to her. I love her dearly, I am scared the attachment I have is fairly toxic, but I am continuing to care for her as best I can. I find myself contemplating testifying against both, as I have been subject to abuse and neglect by both parents, but well out of statute of limitations, as I was a child in a foreign country at the time.

I understand she has care needs, but I am beginning to feel increasingly under qualified to cope with the situation.

I am looking for any advice people can offer. Everything is appreciated. Thanks for your time

I wouldn’t be too concerned about this unless it was DWP making allegations. Choose your battles carefully!

Do you want to tell us more about mum, her needs, age and disability?

She’s 51, has been diagnosed with Osteo and Rheumatoid arthritis, suspected to have Lyme Disease and undiagnosed mental health concerns (genetic Aspergers?).

Most of her needs are social anxiety and physical support. Accompaniment when going out. Or going on her behalf. I cannot drive, but I am able to access most services locally. She also is in dire need of mental health support following this traumatic experience. Physical support includes cleaning, manual handling, cooking (of which I’m incompetent), and horticultural/agricultural labour.

Then there are the animals. Mum owns a field where we operate a small holding. It was intended to be a business, but never became profitable. But we own chickens (40), ducks (15), turkey (1 currently), and sheep (2). We also have dogs (2), cats (3) and Angora rabbits (3) at home.

That’s too much work for you!

Write out a list of what jobs you want to dump most, then give mum an ultimatum. If she wants you to support her something has to stop! It’s YOUR choice, not mum’s to decide what you do if anything.