Caring for weakening Elderly Relative - Introduction

New to the forum.

Just pitched into caring for an elderly relatively who lives with me and now needs more support. Trying to get basic systems in place, so I will probably be asking about how to get levers in place to access support etc, such as being registered as a Carer with my relative’s GP.

And mechanics of processes within the NHS.


(Sorry to do it with the first post, but it appears to me that the forum displays the personal email address of the latest member on the front page to the entire world (I hope I have misunderstood !). To me that is, if I am correct, unacceptable on a support forum - even if it is legal. That will get all the email addresses spidered by spammers.)

Hello Jay and welcome to the forum :slight_smile:

Lots of us are caring for or have cared for an elderly relative so between us we should be able to come up with answers to your questions.

Please rest assured that your email address is safe ! The details you completed on joining are only accessible to the Membership Administration team. It would only show up on the forum if you used it as your username (in which case you would quickly be advised by one of the Admin or Moderating team to change it to something less identifiable). Carers UK, like all charitable organisations, now abides by the Data Protection Act.

Forum Moderator

Hi Jay, welcome to the forum.

If Jay is your “real” name, please invent a forum name instead. Also don’t say exactly where you live, although a rough idea can be useful. So I live in Hampshire but always say on the main forum that I’m in the New Forest, a vast area!

It is always sad to watch a relative’s slow decline, we cannot halt the ageing process, only make that journey as comfortable for them as we can. It’s so easy to give up doing everything as they need more and more, but this isn’t a good idea for a carer who can then end up totally isolated when caring ends. Try to think about balancing your own life with your relative’s life.

Inevitably, they will need more and more care, but it doesn’t have to be you that provides all that extra care.
Where that extra care comes from, and who provides it, depends on various things, so I’ll ask a few basic questions to start with to focus our suggestions as well as possible.
Savings over £23,000? (Yes/No)
Claiming any disability benefits?
When was their last Needs Assessment from Social Services?
Any outside care offered?
When did you last have a Carers Assessment?

I’ll be back later, home all day as I’m redecorating.

Have to dash as I am tired but have you applied for benefits yet?