Can't do this anymore, feel like I'm missing out

I apologise in advance if I come across selfish, but I’ve just really hit a brick wall.

I’ve cared for my dad for a number of years but especially through lockdown I have realised how much I’m missing out on, I just need some time away to find myself properly and discover the world.

I feel so so guilty, I don’t want to desert him but I’m starting to get really down about it.

I know I will have to stop my claim for carers allowance, but I’m also ashamed about admitting this to them. What is the easiest way of stopping this without any questions? If I say I am no longer caring will they ask for proof or ask who will be? I just want to stop it as I’m so ashamed and don’t want a million questions to make myself feel even worse.

My heads wrecked :frowning:

We won’t make you feel worse I hope, but if you tell us more about your situation may be able to suggest how to reduce your caring without feeling guilty.

Hello Bob

I’m not sure if you are aware but we are currently running a series of online weekly meet ups for carers to get together and chat informally. People say they’ve found it really helpful and supportive and it’s nice to be able to take a little bit of time for yourself. There’s no pressure to share any more than you’re comfortable with. Join up details are here:

We are also now running a weekly Share and Learn sessions, where we run a series of fun and relaxed online sessions where visiting speakers who share tips and skills on a range of topics - please have a look at the link and see if one grabs your attention.

Do join if you’d like to, we’ve had a lot of new carers join the sessions recently and it’s a great way to meet other carers.

I would also suggest you give our helpline and speak to them about carers allowance, you can contact them on:
Our telephone Helpline is available on 0808 808 7777 from Monday to Friday, 9am – 6pm or you can contact us by email

with best wishes


Feeling this too…
Just hit a brick wall…