Advice regarding family of person I'm caring for

New to the forum here so, hello :slight_smile:

I have been caring for an old neighbour of mine for the last 5 years who has Parkinson’s who had to go into hospital (and then a rehab centre) 3 months ago and due to Covid restrictions I’ve been unable to visit until recently.

Over the past few weeks I’ve been making appointments to see him only for them to be cancelled to to safety reasons but learned this week, from a case manager, that family members have put a stop to all visits who aren’t family. I’m not allowed to visit, call him or even be told how he’s getting on. And it’s not just me but friends and neighbours who have all contributed in helping over the years who are not allowed any visits, calls or information.

For the record the family are a sister and brother who have not been interested in helping or visiting for 2 decades.

Is there anything I can do? We’ve all just seemed to be pushed aside for no reason and I’m not even sure why these family members are being allowed to dictate who is and isn’t allowed to contact him.

It’s also not really fair on the person I’m caring for as he’s seen no friends, neighbours or his carer at all for 3 months and I’m sure he’ll be wondering if we even care.

I’m just a little bit lost at the moment and left in limbo on where to go from here. :frowning:

Any advice appreciated.

Hi Craig,

welcome to the forum.

Oh dear, are they visiting instead?!

Have your written to him or rung him (how understandable is his speech on the telephone?)

Does the person have mental capacity? If so, it is up to him to decide who should visit.

If not, does anyone have POA for him?

Would he be able to communicate his wishes to an advocate?

Sorry to ask so many questions! Just trying to work out a possible way forward.


Thanks for the reply. He’s sometimes confused with his medication and other times fine so it’s hit and miss. He’s also very hard of hearing and so phone calls just don’t work.

There is no POA as far as I’m aware as he’s not seen his family in years but I hear they are trying to get it.

This sets off potential alarm bells. POAs are meant to make decisions on behalf of the person and represent the person’s best interests using their knowledge of the person. If these family members have been absent for decades - they won’t know what his wishes etc might be. Are they after their inheritance?

He needs an advocate and the advocate appointments need to be arranged when he is most ‘with it’ e.g not just had the meds that make him muddled. The advocate can help him say who he’d like to see etc.

Are there any professionals involved in his care that you have met who might make helpful allies?

If you are worried he is being taken advantage of, you can contact the Adult Safeguarding team, however you’d need more than hunch.