Frankly it seems like a lot of social workers are paid to do nothing or not understand basic things. Over 20 years ago our family was swarmed by their attention but nobody suggested anything practical like an NHS assessment for autism or applying for benefits. They were quick to aim accusations of Munchausen syndrome against my mum though.
I had no help for the first 5 years, I was labelled a ābad motherā and offered parenting classes. My perfectly behaved eldest son was apparently invisible and when I said I ran a Brownie pack of 24 girls single handed (in Australia) they just ignored it! My son is now 46, living in his own flat with carer support but still heavily dependent on me for all sorts of things.
Tilly, I am sorry to hear of your troubles. I hope you can overcome them.
In terms of support for me as a carer, for once I can give positive news. My wife had a severe stroke three and a half years ago, which left her paralysed and unable to use her right arm or leg. She needs four double-up calls per day for hygiene, dressing and getting her in and out of bed to and from a day or wheelchair. I do the rest, which means I am a 24-hour carer. I suppose I have come to terms with it now, but the stroke basically destroyed our life together and for a long time I felt like a prisoner.
Ten years ago, I had a horrible type of cancer which left me with metalwork fitted to make sure my spine doesnāt collapse. It is permanently uncomfortable or painful, and there are some things, like lifting anything heavy, that I just canāt do. I am sure if my surgeons saw me having to push a heavy wheelchair, they would have kittens.
But the bright note is Warwickshire County Council and the associated Carers Trust based not far from me in Coventry. The latter helped me with things like applying for attendance and carers allowance (which I donāt get now because I reached pension age). I explained my situation to WCC and they fund some respite time for me. Well, I say fund as it only covers about a quarter of the cost, but I am grateful for it. I pay for a carer to be my substitute so I can go away for a few days here and there. Without that, my mental health would be so much worse.
Overall, paying for the daily carers to come in costs me almost Ā£3000 per month. Because I had worked hard all my life and built up some savings, I get no help with that. Not a penny.
@chris_baker welcome to the forum. It shouldnāt be you paying for the daily carers - it should be coming out of your wifeās savings and once her savings drop below the limit, funded by social care with her paying a contribution.
PS if your user name is the same as your real name - itās worth getting it changed. Unfortunately I think only admin can do this at the moment, but have a try and let us know if it needs reporting.
Chris, welcome from me too.
Has your wife had an NHS Continuing Healthcare Assessment? (CHC). FREE care if she qualifies.
A company calle Compass is now advertising they may be able to help fight the case on your behalf on TV. This is NOT a recommendation in any way, shape or form from me, but the information on their website may explain more about CHC. Iām horrified that you are putting your health at risk by doing any lifting!
Thanks. We went down that route. It amazes me, given what has happened to her, that my wife is nowhere near qualifying for CHC. But of course she is hardly alone in that.
Thank you. My wifeās savings were earned by me and are only in her name because we thought if was good to de-risk things. (Remember when banks were going bust, not so long ago?) I have, of course, been using them to pay for the care as I am aware that it is when her money drops below Ā£23k that things change.
There have been a lot of āunderhandā tactics with regard to CHC. (Words chosen carefully!)
I met them with my mumās application.
However, it might be worth reapplying.
Were you involved with, and given a copy of the original checklist assessment?
Did you appeal?
A new application, at the request of your GP would show if there had been any deterioration since the previous assessment.
From what Iāve heard the CHC assessments are similar to DWP assessments for benefits like PIP, there is trickery to downplay peopleās difficulties and many have to appeal to get anywhere.
Social Care is like Snakes and Ladders.
I share my experiences to help people find the ladders and avoid the snakes.
However much we donāt like the system, itās the only one we have. For example, social workers shouldnāt tell people they canāt afford to give them more care. If SSD canāt afford care because needs are too high, they should themselves refer that client for a CHC Assessment.
If you donāt like the system, and donāt apply, there is zero chance of it being paid.
If you do apply, and have to appeal, then there is a good chance it will be paid.
Or, as I was told at college, itās a matter of Risk and Reward.