8 months into caring, new here

Hello,

Over the last 3 years my wife (41) has had two major brain surgeries for a benign, egg sized tumour on her brain stem. She had a stroke in theatre during the first surgery. In total, 12 weeks in hospital, and 9 months in a neuro rehab centre. Plus 6 weeks of radiotherapy. Her speech is poor, she lost hearing in her right ear, her left side is very weak, and she can’t walk at all despite having good leg strength. She has maintained an incredible sense of humour throughout this ordeal, but it has been massively difficult for us and our 10yo daughter. I’m my wife’s carer when I’m not at my full-time job, and essentially a single parent as my wife can’t physically contribute to parenting.

After keeping this up for 8 months (since her last hospital discharge), I feel worn down. I really only get 2 hours on a Saturday morning to myself, which is better than nothing, but can’t imagine maintaining this for another 30-40 years. My wife’s recovering is incredibly slow, but won’t say it has stalled completely, so there’s still hope, but it sometimes feels hopeless.

I’m not looking for answers, but it’s nice to have a place here to rant.

Chris

3 Likes

Welcome to the forum. Feel free to rant! We all have that need in and out!

1 Like

Welcome to the forum.
A few basic questions to “set the scene”.What support, if any, have you had?
Has your wife had a Social Services Needs Assessment?
Have you had a Carers Assessment?
Is your wife receiving disability benefits?
Claiming Council Tax exemption on the grounds of Severe Mental Impairment? (A horrible term but easy to make a claim.
Is your son a member of a young carers group?

Welcome to the forum from me too.

Hi Chris, I am quite new to this community and your situation sounds quite similar to mine. It would be good to have a chat. Best wishes, Neil

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@chriscross such a tough situation for you all. Glad you have found us.

@neilp welcome to the forum.

@chriscross welcome to the forum.

@neilp welcome to the forum.