Hi, I’m new to forums so feel free to tell me off if I get it wrong. I’m a very young 54yr old mum of 3, my son who will be 16yr soon has a mental age of around 9mths. He can’t do much for himself and up to a couple of years ago had some serious health issues. He’s a happy chappie and touch wood his health issues have all but gone, apart from the odd spell of pneumonia. My life pre him was full of friends, work, late nights or shall we say early mornings lol. My life now revolves around him, I hardly go out and have lost contact with all my friends. My partner’s way of coping is to work, although I’m not a single mum I may as well be, if you know what I mean.
Earlier this year I decided enough was enough, I needed to rejoin the world and now he sees him in from school one night a week while I go do a spot of volunteer work. You’re probably thinking, why don’t I go out when he’s at school, well that’s when I play catch up. I do all the housework, gardening, shopping, numerous appointments etc because during the school hols I’m lucky if I get to take the hoover round. One thing I’ve learned over the years, most of the stress doesn’t come from caring for your loved one, it comes from dealing with the people who are payed to help you. I’ve battled social services, dr’s and education. I’ve earned the title mother from hell because I refuse to accept 2nd best for him. You know what, I don’t give a s**t because he now has the right equipment, good dr’s and the biggest fight I had he now goes to a very good school. The past couple of years have been trouble free but he starts his transision into aldulthood this year and having heard the horror stories I’m gearing up for battle again. I’m not sure whether he will stay at home or go into residential care yet, I’m exploring all posibilities. I’m not getting any younger and know if anything happens to me SS will stick him in the cheapest option. I’m thinking it may be better to get him settled in a nice place and know he’s happy. Sorry I’m rattling on, I’ll shut up. Looking forward to meeting you all xxx
Actually i totally get you when you say the stress does not come from your son but the others involved…iv been in battles with the school, and others for ages, wheres you down but you have to carry on.
My son is 9 and has global delay and Autism, functions at around age 5 /6
I’m a single mum and get no support from his father, he couldn’t cope , so just me My son and my 2 lovely teenager’s.
I know exactly what you mean - most of my stress comes not from caring for S but all the other professionals involved. In fact right this moment they are making life very stressful. Enjoy the moment, because transition time is one hell of a battle …
Thanks for the welcome. I must apologise, I’ve just read my post and I sound like the original grumpy old woman lol. Bit stressed this pm but having put my little lad to bed and spent an hour in therapy (my garden) I feel ready to smile and face the world again.
Sorry to hear you’re battling too Tracy, I’m a strong person but even I’ve been brought to my knees at one point. Then someone said to me, if you don’t fight for him, who will. So I picked myself up dusted myself down and carried on fighting. Keep going luv one day at a time as they say.
I’m getting the boxing gloves out ready for tranission lol Melly 1
hi Karen, how far into the process are you. We start properly at his next school review, ours is more complex cos he goes to a school outside our local authority. They and his social worker get invited to his reviews every year but never show,
at his last social review about 10 months ago I was told a transition social worker would contact me and discuss the whole process, I’m still waiting. Sadly I didn’t expect anyone to call, I’ve had some terrible experiences with SS. Are you looking at college or day care? I’m looking at all possibilities, keeping an open mind. xx